


out, alone, together

by bellowbacks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:56:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17746307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellowbacks/pseuds/bellowbacks
Summary: For Dean, the hood of the Impala was the best for thinking. A beer in his hand, the fading sunset above him, and the cool metal of the still car against his back. It was all he needed. Just him, Baby, and the infinite expanse of a field in eastern Kansas.As the moon began to rise, Dean let his eyes fall closed. He didn’t fall asleep, he knew better than that, but he let himself dream nonetheless.





	out, alone, together

For Dean, the hood of the Impala was the best for thinking. A beer in his hand, the fading sunset above him, and the cool metal of the still car against his back. It was all he needed. Just him, Baby, and the infinite expanse of a field in eastern Kansas. 

As the moon began to rise, Dean let his eyes fall closed. He didn’t fall asleep, he knew better than that, but he let himself dream nonetheless. 

So, he thought of the bunker. 

No, he thought of the bunker, before. 

Before everybody was inside, before it was Sam’s base of operations, before it was full and loud and unfamiliar. He thought of sitting down in the TV room and binge watching Star Trek, Sam peeking his head in every once in a while to chuckle at the old writing and hand Dean a new drink. 

He thought of dancing around the kitchen to music he would never listen to when Sam was around as he used one of Ellen’s old recipes to make dinner for him, Sam, Jack, and…

Dean thought of Cas. 

He thought of sitting around the war table with Cas, reading, researching, leaning over to show each other things that were relevant, things that were funny, things that they thought the other would like. 

Dean took another sip of his beer right as he heard the familiar sound of wings. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said. He was standing beside the Impala, his hair messy and his trench coat ruffled, as usual. Dean, already a little loose from the beers in his system, let a smile touch his lips and shifted over on the car. 

“C’mere,” he said and patted the hood next to him. “Have a beer, Cas.” 

Castiel hesitated for a moment, and then he stepped forward and slid onto the hood beside Dean and took the beer offered to him. 

“I came when you called,” he said. 

Dean chuckled and closed his eyes again. “I didn’t call you,” he said, but he let the lazy smile stay on his mouth. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

Cas’ arm was warm and was just barely touching Dean’s. The unspoken… something, that they had both been feeling for years festered in the heat, the inches between their fingers, and the imprints of their lips on the rims of the glass beer bottles. 

“Hope I didn’t interrupt anything important,” Dean said and turned his head to look at Cas, who was focused on the stars.

Castiel let out a small puff of breath, almost a laugh. “I always come when you call, Dean. We have established this,” he said quietly and glanced at Dean for a moment before turning his eyes to the sky. It was dark enough and Dean was tipsy enough that, as he traced Castiel’s profile with his eyes, he let himself linger on Cas’ chapped lips for longer than the second he typically allowed himself. 

“I remember when the constellations were named,” Castiel said. 

Dean took a sip of his beer. “Hm?” he said. Castiel was still turned to the sky, so Dean gave in and let his head rest on the windshield, still turned towards Cas. 

“Well, they were named and renamed dozens of times throughout history,” Castiel said and turned his head to look left, exposing more of his neck for Dean’s eyes to cover. “Orion is my favorite.”

Dean managed to pull himself away from Cas’ stubble and looked to the sky, quickly finding the familiar line of three- or was it four? Dean remembered reading that somewhere- stars above them. 

“Why?” Dean asked. 

Castiel didn’t reply for a second, and then he looked at Dean, so Dean looked at him. Land and sky met, green and blue colliding in the darkness with a spark of the thing they had silently agreed to never speak about even though they both have felt whatever it was for years. 

“He’s… the hunter,” Castiel said, and then he swallowed. Dean’s eyes tracked the movement of his adam’s apple underneath the stubbled skin of his throat, and then he met Castiel’s eyes again, and finally took in what Cas had said. 

“Cas,” Dean said, his voice thick with 10 years of built up emotion. “You can’t say shit like that, man.”

Castiel’s mouth quirked up in a small, sad smile and he turned back to the sky. “I wish you’d let me,” he said. 

Dean didn’t breathe after that. He just closed his eyes and squeezed the hand not holding his beer into a fist. 

“We don’t talk about it,” Dean said after a moment. “That’s what we do. We have this… thing, but we don’t talk about it, and we don’t act on it, and we don’t let it change us.”

Cas laughed. Dean could feel the sadness that Cas kept hidden deep in his heart, and it sunk into his skin like a thick lotion. 

“We don’t talk about it because I know it would be hard for you to admit to anything, Dean,” Castiel said. “I’ve wanted you since I pulled you from hell and that isn’t ever going to change.”

Dean took a deep breath and sat up. He opened his eyes but didn’t look at Cas, instead focusing entirely on the pavement in front of them, stretching for miles in a long, flat line. Dean took a sip of beer and ignored the rumbling pit in his stomach. 

“We’re alone out here,” Castiel said, his voice softer now, “Sam isn’t here, Jack isn’t here, it’s just me.”

Dean took the last swig of his beer and leaned back to toss the bottle into the passenger seat before finally, finally, turning to look at Cas. 

“How are you so human?” Dean managed, laughing weakly. “You’re like a billion years old or whatever and you got your wings back since we got you Michael’s grace and yet you’re the most human person I know.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. 

Castiel sat up as well. “I learned from the best man I’ve ever known,” he said, and Dean felt a surge of emotion, pent up and red-hot, fill his heart and his chest and then he was turning to look at Cas, touching, grabbing the lapels of his trench coat -

And then they were kissing. 

Dean had imagined this hundreds, if not thousands of times, but the crushing weight of Castiel against him and the heat of his breath, wet of his mouth, and his hands- everywhere- were life-changing, world-ending, mind-blowing. 

When they stopped, Dean looked at Cas. His shirt was coming unbuttoned, his cheeks were pink, and his lips were parted, the pink of his mouth something Dean wanted to commit to memory right now and forever. 

“Dean,” Cas rumbled and touched the open edge of Dean’s flannel with his fingers. 

“I need you, Cas, I can’t… Now, I can’t let go again,” Dean managed. “If we’re doing this, we’re really doing this.”

“What happened to not talking about it?” Castiel replied and cocked his head to the side. 

Dean rolled his eyes, lightly punched Cas in the shoulder, and then pulled him in again to press their lips together. 

“Ass,” he muttered when he pulled away. His chest felt loose and light in a way that it hadn’t since he was probably 14. 

Castiel took his hand and held it, tracing lines down his fingers and around his nail beds, lingering on old calluses and new scars. “I won’t be kept a secret, Dean.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Dean said and tore his eyes away from Castiel’s hand. “I’ll tell Sam before we go back. He… He knew this was coming, eventually.”

Castiel pulls Dean’s hand up to his mouth and kisses his palm. “I know. You aren’t subtle, and neither is he,” he said against Dean’s nerve-slick palm, the low vibrations of his voice travelling deep through Dean’s bones. 

“I always knew once… This happened… There’s no going back,” he said and turned his hand to cup Castiel’s jaw in his palm. Emboldened by the low high of the alcohol still coursing through his system, Dean opened his mouth again. “You’re it for me. You’ve been it for me for years, if not always,” he managed, looking down at his lap. 

Castiel leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. “You’ve been it for me since the moment I heard your name whispered through the heavens. You’re mine, Dean.”

Dean surged forward and kissed him again, hard and rough, teeth hitting teeth and breath and heart mixed entirely until neither knew where each of themselves begun. 

Orion hung in the sky above them, protecting their moment of honesty from harm; safe and warm - home.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i hope you enjoyed it, i like this piece a lot. 
> 
> as always, im on twitter @bellowbacks, im always talking about supernatural so please hit me up


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